Waiting for Gaga

Yesterday I was stuck in bed thanks to a migraine. It was one of those days when even the thought of getting and up and trying to get moving was accompanied by the onset of a panic attack/gastro-intestinal protest. But, I couldn't sleep either, mostly because of the helicopters incessantly beating their wings outside of my window for the ENTIRE DAY. I figured they were looking for a kidnapper or murderer, which is pretty much standard for Hollywood.

Finally, around 7 pm, I decided I was ready to face the world and dragged my roommate up the corner to Cantaloop for some frozen yogurt.

While I was self-serving myself a delicious mix of low-fat frozen yogurt flavors: birthday cake, pomegranate, watermelon, mint, and dutch chocolate, my roommate was standing quietly waiting when one of the workers asked us, "Did you see Lady Gaga?"

I laughed because it seemed random, but then I learned that she was playing a free concert at the Jimmy Kimmel Live studio. THAT'S what all the helicopters had been doing all day. Waiting for Gaga.

Roomie and I decided to take a little stroll down Hollywood Boulevard to see what we could see.

We were in for a treat. On the left side of the street at Graumann's Chinese Theatre, the premiere for the Rise of the Planet of the Apes had just gotten underway, so tourists were gathered in droves by the barricades, still hoping to catch a glimpse of straggling stars.

We walked by the Jimmy Kimmel studio doors, but they were closed, guarded by a sleepy Colonel Sanders in a black suit.

We watched the show from outside on a tv screen for a minute, but then kept walking.

To our right, there were lines of yellow tape blocking off an alley. And there was a crowd of people in the distance. And there were no security guards to be found.

My roommate can be shy, but when it comes to sneaking into industry events, she is fearless, so we side-stepped our way under the yellow tape and headed down into a little section that was partitioned off with metal barricades and slipped behind them.

As soon as we got behind there, a bunch of other people wandered down and were shooed away by cops or security. One lady tried to convince the guards that her car was in the parking lot, but when pressed for the make and color of her car, she was at a loss. By the time she came up with "black Prius" she didn't stand a chance.

There was an interesting mix of paparazzi, local teenagers, and foreigners in our little box. It was around 9 o'clock so I asked the group of Canadian boys next to us how long they had been waiting.

"Since 5 pm, they said, but most of these people have been here all day."

Ha. I don't wait that long for anything unless there is a ski lift or a roller-coaster at the end. Ok, the DMV doesn't count.

Allegedly, our little section was special because it was supposed to be Gaga's last stop before exiting to the parking lot to get into her car.

We chatted with our new Canadian friends about our cultural differences. We were interrupted by a huge cheer, because we all thought we had just seen Gaga, but then one of the Canadians said, "Wait, that's not Gaga." False alarm.

Finally, Jimmy Kimmel announced that it was time for Lady Gaga to perform, and the crowd went wild.

Of course we could only see the top half of the stage because of the giant fence blocking our view, but I was impressed by the resourcefulness of the paparazzi. One had a long pole that extended his camera about 10 feet in the air.

Roomie commented that they should make those for cellphones and I was like "Genius!" The Canadians said you can just make something out of cardboard. I argued that the whole basis of our economy is that people are stupid and will buy things they don't need and can make themselves. Silly Canadian.

Luckily, in the Middle of "the Edge of Glory," Gaga ran up to the top of the stage and we got to see her and her blonde wig on the edge of its glory. The cellphones and lighters were waving in front of us, teenagers were crying, small children were climbing on fences speaking Dutch.

Then, the emcee took the stage again to close the show, bringing boos from the audience, but Jimmy Kimmel, like a knight in shining armor, announced that there would be one more song. Huge cheers from the audience were then followed by another rousing performance of...

the same song.

Oh well, that's television for you. She repeated that performance, but it did seem stronger, and it hit me that the first one had been the dress rehearsal and this one was live.
And, afterwards, as a bonus, she did the song, "Free as my Hair," which seemed ironic to me because the wigs and extensions she wears on a daily basis probably cost the same as what it would cost to feed all of the paparazzi covering her show.

If we had waited, we probably could have shaken Gaga's hand, but it was time to move along. Our Canadian friends were getting ready to drive back to Vancouver and Roomie and I were tiring of playing tourist/fan and needed to get back to our normal lives.

As we walked back, the guests who had been watching the Planet of the Apes premiere were spilling out of the Chinese Theatre. People around us were screaming out to celebrities that I didn't recognize, who waved and sparkled back to their adoring fans. All I could think about was how I wished I could have seen the movie so I could talk about it objectively with other people who make movies for a living...and that I could be wearing a pretty dress on the red carpet. :)

Roomie said there was no shame on being on this side of the barricade right now. And I agreed, just like those kids in the old baseball movies that used to sneak into the stadiums to watch their heroes, and then grew up to play professional ball.

Right now, we're still kids.

Just waiting for Gaga.